Aw, Twitter's all grown up: It's got spam!

Sniff. I'm so proud.

If you want to make sure I totally ignore your Twitter follow request, please:

1. Make sure you're following at least 5,000 people, but have only 100 followers.
2. Have at least 10 of your last 15 posts deal exclusively with Toshiba television sets, pirated software, or discount prescription drugs. I'm not a fan of Toshibas, I just got audited and am trying to steer clear of federal crimes, and I already have to take too many prescription drugs anyway.
3. Follow 15,000 people, but have only 3 tweets. The suspense alone will kill me.
4. Use!!! Lots!!!! Of!!!! Exclamation!!!!! Points!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously! I love those!
5. Use????lots???of???other???weird???characters, because someone's paying you $2/hour to type this, and you're using a computer that's on a different character set.
6. Write that impossible to understand stuff. 'Cause yeah, I need more bad writing in my life.
7. Post nothing but TinyURL links with no other text. If I want useless, murky snippets of information, I can look at old Donald Rummsefeld press conferences.
8. Post the exact same thing about 30 times. I might follow you if I feel I've done something bad and require punishment. But really that's the only way you're going to get me to click the magic button.

Amazing! At least 300 people knew this list before I even wrote it.