"We just can't make the changes you're recommending, so it doesn't pay to keep working with you."

After hearing this from a client while I was at SMX West a few weeks ago, I walked over to a bench and punched it so hard that my knuckles started bleeding. The next day, as I went through security in Santa Clara, the TSA folks eyed me suspiciously. They likely thought I was some lunatic who'd freak out after takeoff and start pummeling the seat in front of me (if I could get enough elbow room, which isn't likely). Which I am when folks say things like "We just can't...".

But I digress.

Working with an enterprise client can be maddening in ways you'd never expect. All those resources, yet they can't. seem. to. get. moving. Here's how you can stay sane:

1. Get buy-in, if you can, from the head of IT, the head of marketing, and the head of sales. Those three people will likely control your fate. If you can get 2 out of 3, then at least they might win in a cage match.
2. Always make sure that you talk about opportunity cost. Make sure everyone involved understands they're leaving X visitors on the table, every day, and that at the current conversion rate that means N potential leads and Y potential dollars. Include the opportunity gap - where the client's at versus where they could be - in every report.
3. Do not work with an enterprise who says they can't or won't set up web analytics. They are either insane, chaotic evil, or both. Run!!!! (p.s. The client in question here couldn't set up Google Analytics.)
4. Provide detailed reports, even when you're not askEd to. Silence is not happiness, in this case. Chances are, your contact is hiding under her desk from a rampaging CEO who flew into a rage when they saw your last bill.
5. Be obnoxious. Well, not obnoxious. But be confident. Cover your bases before each meeting. Don't waffle. The corporate boardroom can smell fear. They'll question your judgment anyway - make sure you don't give them any additional ammunition.
6. Put yourself in your contact's shoes. When you write a report or respond to a question from your contact at Really Big Enterprises, Inc., make sure you think about their state of mind and what they have to deal with every day. They need great data, easy-to-understand explanations, and a smidge of sympathy.
7. Don't do super-technical presentations to the executive team. It's like sand blasting matzoh. Speaking as a CEO myself, I can tell you that while I might understand what you're saying, my brain is tied up on 99 other things. Please just get to the point: What's gone well, what hasn't, and what you need from my team to fix it.
8. Take up Yoga, or karate. You're going to need the outlet.

Getting large companies as clients is worth it - the payoffs are huge, and you can do some really cool stuff that's otherwise impossible. It just comes with its own special challenges. Be ready, go in with open eyes. and you'll do fine.