Someone on the web must want the 50,000 visitors and 10,000 links this article would provide, and I'm too swamped. Here's the idea:

1. Compare 5-10 of the top web analytics suites on 2-3 websites over the course of one month
2. Analyze the data, compare them against each other, rate them on ease-of-use, pricing, service, accuracy and features
3. Write up an article, call it "Visitor Tracking Accuracy: 10 Web Analytics Tools Compared" - you'll probably get enough links and anchor text to rank well for several high profile, high visibility search terms
4. Tell us about it and we'll post it on SEOmoz and help you get "Dugg"

Seriously, I'm desperate for something like this, not just for myself, but for lots of clients who are crying out. Who shall answer the call?

OK - second part of this post - if you've had great experiences or bad experiences with analytics programs, please share. Feel free to link to any articles or posts that you think are highly relevant, too. I'm on a mission this afternoon :)

p.s. I'm particularly interested if anyone's found a good solution that you can buy and host on your own server. Lag issues dictate that this is a "must-have" for a couple of our clients.

p.p.s. I promise to return to the land of the value-based blogging soon, rather than making the comments do all the work - it's just been one of those weeks... maybe because we're missing Rebecca. :(